Children’s books are great, sometimes entertaining, sometimes education and sometimes, it’s just a big mistake. Here are my 5 picks on the creepiest children’s books that neither entertains (for the kids, not us) nor educates. These books are so creepy, you won’t believe it! And that’s why I’ve provided Amazon.com links for you all to confirm!
Alfie’s Home by Richard Cohen
This book is about Alfie who is lonely and wants the affection of his dad. Instead, he got his uncle’s and ends up sleeping with him. He now thinks he’s gay but the counsellor gave him a talk and reforms him into a heterosexual. And his uncle? He regrets sleeping with his nephew and apologizes to his whole family and is forgiven. It is a children’s book aimed at kids 4-8 to educate them to… be careful around their pedophilic uncle? I don’t get it. Check it out on Amazon.com! Don’t forget to read their comments. Some comments use the words “prejudice drivel” and “repulsive” to describe this book.
It’s Just a Plant, a Children’s Story of Marijuana by Ricardo Cortes
A little kid finds his parents smoking pot and gets a good lesson on why smoking pot is ok sometimes. But the funniest part is that the boy ends up seeing a group of black people smoking pot and getting busted by the cops! Oh, and did I mention the boy’s parents are white and never got busted? Can anyone say stereotypical, better yet, racist? Come on guys, it’s just a plant! Peace and love man! Check it out on Amazon!
Who Cares About Disabled People? by Pam Adams
A book set out to teach people to love everyone, including the disabled. Good life lesson I suppose but they really should define “disabled” more carefully. Look at who they think are disabled:
So tall black people, some guy from Grease holding a beer can (I assume), some slightly chubby, hungry kid, and a kid huffing a bag of what looks like playdough are disabled? And why is the tall kid black? If they are considered disabled then half my school is disabled! Heck, I’m probably disabled too! Are you? Can you squash a kid’s dream any further?
Check out Amazon’s comment where a teacher loves the book!
It Hurts When I Poop! by Howard and Bennett
“It hurts when I poop” says it all. For that kid who is scared of constipation, throw them this book! Frankly, I’m would be more scared with all the eyes on the cover watching me poop. And they look so happy too. No wonder the kid’s hurting! Poor thing has probably been holding it in for weeks! He needs a new bathroom, not a new story.
Never Smile at a Monkey by Steven Jenkins
A book teaching kids what not to do. Chances are, they never even saw a monkey in their life considering they’re only 4 years old. Nevertheless, the angry monkey face says it all, “don’t smile at me, don’t even look at me or else…”. Let’s just hope that the kid reading this won’t develop new phobias after. Read the inside of this book at Amazon.com! I found the “don’t pat a platypus” thing hilarious. Who here has even seen a live platypus?
Which children’s book did you find the most ridiculous? Share your thoughts in the comment box below!
BONUS (The 6th Creepy Book): I totally forgot about my previous post called My Beautiful Mommy. My 6th creepy children’s book can be read here: Only Ugly People Says that Beauty is on the Inside . It’s a book about a little girl’s mom getting plastic surgery.
If you liked this post, check out Pointless Foods From Japan or Ice-Cream Flavours from Satan’s Kitchen and many other posts on the home page!
Reality in the Ordinary 